"If it had not been so..."

I'm a firm beleiver in Unity.  Finding a oneness seems vital and important in a world full of confusion and chaos.  Sometimes I can find it with one other person and sometimes I find myself trying to discover Unity with a whole bunch of people.  Much harder.  But, either way, it must important.  My mind is called to Psalms 133 when David tell us it's 'pleasant' and 'good' to live in unity with our brethren.  Family.  Neighbors.  Friends.

The 'unity' that seems to trip me up the very most is within myself.  I think my desire to be with people precludes my ability to be with The Savior.  It's Him that I need more than anyone.  Unity with my Savior.  My Master.

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with my brother.  He and I have never really been close.  He lived in foster homes before I was born and I didn't meant him until I was Senior in High School.  And when I did meet him, I wasn't impressed.  And now all these 20 or so years later, after spending the afternoon with him, I bothered myself to look deeper at the spirit and less at the human.  And.........I liked him.  We talked about love, and lonliness, faith, but not religion.  I'm devoutly Mormon...He's devoutly NOT.  We even talked about the forbidden of all topics...politics.  We formed, for just a tiny little time, unity.  Onesness.  Togetherness.  He's still flawed and has faults but I try not to cast too many stones that direction.  I don't want them picked up and thrown back at me.

I'm telling you this for a reason.  Shawn was a kairn.  In an effort to keep you here not running off to google, I'll tell you what a kairn, (carn) is.  It's a marker.  A stone or rather a stack of stones places in a specific formation to indicate the direction that would be best for traveler to take.  Sometimes they indicated that a body of water would be an ideal place for catching fish.  Sometimes they pointed to good hunting.  Sometimes a stack told that this would be a good and safe place to rest.  Sometimes they just point and say...'this way.'  For thousands of years and in multiple cultures, kairns have been there, placed by the poor fellow who had to go that route alone...without them.  The Savior. 

He's walked our road.  AND He did it without His help.  When I think of His Mercy and Mission my heart leaps inside of me.  Why?  Why does He deign to help such a wretch like me?  Because, He loves me.  And because He loves me, He wants me to be around and talk to Him.  He wants unity wth me.  How can the master ever learn to use the instrument if the instrument is not there.  I remove myself from Him.  From His prescence.  I take the instrument away so He is unable to use me the way He knows best.  He places those people in my path to bring my thoughts and heart back to Him.

I LOVE the story of the Stone of Ebenezer.   It's Hebrew...It's actually 2 words.  One word means stone, one word means help.  Stone of help.  Stone of Help!!  Samuel raised the Ebenezer Stone and proclaimed 'Thus far the Lord has helped us!'  Brilliant!  He told the people that The Lord had helped them to this point and would never forsake them.  And the stone would be for all others to see and know....this is the line in the sand.  We're not going back to the way it was!  You know what happened after that?  Peace!  Sernity! Unity! And because there was unity, the Isrealites were able to recover their land from the Philistines and they even managed to eke out some peace with the Amorites!
Yay for unity! 

There's a story in the Doctrine and Covenants, which is a book of revelations recieved during this modern dispensation.  It's our book of Laws and Promises.  Joseph Smith had a scribe named Oliver Cowdery who was writing while Joseph tranlsted the Book of Mormon plates which were in Hebrew. 
One morning in 1829, the Lord spoke specifically to Oliver through Joseph and gave him some beautiful information.  In verse 14 of Section 6, The Lord told him:
Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time.

He will bring us where we need to be.  He's walked the road.  Done it for us, alone, so we wouldn't have to.  I figure the least I can do is pay attention to the kairns He puts along my path that say, 'this way.' 

Unity in me with Him.  It'll come.  I already raised MY Ebenezer Stone.  I can never go back to the way it was. I woudn't want to.  I'm smiling.

My big brother Shawn, and I. 
It looks like I'm trying to push him away.
I'm not.  I'm touching him, because I love him.
1-19-11

Touchdown in SLC

I left home this morning at about 6:30 or so. Little plane.  Puddle Jumper.  But it jumped well enough to get me to The Cities Airport in less than a hour...normally a 5 hour trip by car.  Eerily enough...or perhaps not...I sat next to the man who first cast me and my kids in a play in the Bemidji area!  I owe almost all my theatre time in Bemidji to Greg Gasman.  It was sort of a neat little happenstance.  He's on his way to Texas.

My trip really has been very uneventful!  Which is super!  I'll take it.  No delays, no missed flights, no close calls.  Wonderful! 

I realized while sitting on the tarmac in Minneapolis that I didn't know what car company my rental was through!  So, I paid for internet on the plane and can you beleive I played on the internet while I was in the sky?!  Is that some crazy StarTrek stuff or what?!  Anyhoo--my rental was through Alamo and when I got to the SLC airport, there was about a billion people.  I found out this is the weekend of Sundance Film Festival and some other huge trade show for electronics.  All of the rental booths were packed, except Alamo.  I don't exactly know what that means for anyone else, but for ME it meant an upgrade!  My sweetheart husband had rented me a little compact car and I was excited to zip around in a little car instead of a mommy van.

The gent behind the counter asked if I was there for the Film Festival and I said, 'nope..I'm auditioning for the Nauvoo Pageant.'  He was so excited for me he said, 'well, we can't have a star driving around in a little car, I'm upgrading you to the Equinox!' 

It's even this color!
How funny is that?  From one mommy car to another!!  Hahaha!!  But, it's still zippy!  And clean on the inside!  He made me promise to find him on Monday and tell him how I did.  I told him I promised to TRY to find him....and sign an autograph!  Nice guy...Fred.  He gets extra stars in his crown today!

His probably isn't this color.

Anyhoo, that's my news for today.  I'll update again soon.  Getting closer.  About 50 hours until my audition. 

Serenity and love from 47 degrees...above!

Auditioning...the Process.

I have quite a few friends who are interested in my audition in SLC next week.  Most, however, are unfamiliar with the process.  So, I thought for this weeks' blog, I would backtrack and explain how I got where I am and where I'm headed next week. 

Step one in any audition process is hearing about it to begin with. 
Last year when we went to Nauvoo, IL, for the week with the youth from our church we got to watch the Pageant.  I sat with my mouth open for almost an hour and a half--in awe of the magnitude of the production.  I've never been a part of anything so monstrously grand!  The light poles rose about 3 and a half stories and the people on them had to wear safety harnesses to climb them.  The 'light booth', where the lighting cues are commanded and executed, was an open-air tent about 20x20.  The scene changes were executed by the actors themselves during the scene--which is perfect since it's a story about the building of a city...City Beautiful, that's what Nauvoo means in Hebrew.  When I got home, I KNEW I was going to be a part of this.  I started researching online and found the number to call. 

Step two is booking the audition.
I called SLC and asked about the dates.  There were several dates, as they expect many people to try out.  There are 20 core cast parts and only 8 for women.  The odds are certainly stacked against me.  But, I don't worry about odds.  I've never been good with numbers.  My audition is on January 20, at 7:PM at the Bountiful Events Center in North Salt Lake.  I am beyond exited for the experience.

Step three is preparation.
I had to find out what was required of me.  Usually in a musical, it's expected that one would have 16 bars, or measures, of 2 contrasting pieces of music prepared to sing.  This one, however, weirdly enough, doesn't require that.  Singing is secondary in this musical!  GO figure.  I guess it's about the acting chops.  I asked how long my monologue should be and was told I didn't need one! ALWAYS customary for an audition.  ACTING is secondary, too!  I WILL be asked to do a cold read from the script for the pageant.  Looks like what they're looking for is experience in theatre (check) and an absolute desire to serve this mission with enthusiasm and gusto (check.) 

Step four--THE Audition!
As I have been in theatre for more than 25 years, I've learned a thing or 2.  Prepare a monologue--even if they tell you not to.  You never know when a director will get excited about your cold read and ask you to do something else.  It would be pretty unimpressive if I didn't have anything to do.  So, I have prepared, just in case, a 2 minute monologue.  Better safe than sorry.  Might make the difference in getting it or not.  I also have 2 pieces of music prepared.  My first piece is 16 bars from "Lonely Goatherd" from 'The Sound of Music.'  One of my personal faves.  I like to yodel.  And my second piece is 'Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.'  A beautiful, spiritual and stirring song.  Again, I'm quite excited.

Step five is sometimes the worst part--waiting for the Call back.
That's just what it sounds like.  It's the waiting and waiting and waiting part before they tell you if you got it or not.  I timed my audition so that callbacks fell the next 2 days after.  I shouldn't have to wait more than 48 hours to hear something.  That may sound like a lot, but--I've waited weeks before so 2 days is fine by me!  I'll keep myself occupied by going to stores and museums and visiting friends.

After a callback,  the process varies slightly.  I'm not sure how it's going to work with this one.

I'm just thrilled for the chance to do this and love the process.  I'll leave it in God's hands and take whatever comes and love it.

Preparing for...

 

'Through drama, music, and dance, the pageant testifies of the prophetic mission of Joseph Smith, the blessings of temple ordinances, and the faith of the Saints who built the original city and temple of Nauvoo. Most importantly,  the pageant bears witness of the Savior Jesus Christ and His restored gospel.'  --Pageant Participant's Handbook

Today, I'm finishing up a few odds and ends for camp.  I almost have the schedule complete and the packing list is waiting to be revised.  I'll be reserving the campsite on the day of my audition.  Eerily coincidental.  Or not.  I want to have camp so well planned and prepared that if something happens to me, the next person will have very little trouble picking it up and running with it.

I discovered the handbook for pageant participants and I find myself able to envision actually being there.  I can see myself at the fair each evening, playing with kids, and quilting.  Visiting.  Loving others.  I so very much want to give to others what the Lord has given me.  If you can see it, and believe it...you can achieve it.  I will be Nauvoo this summer. 

http://www.nauvoopageant.org/  Go and see what I'll be doing

The final countdown!

I'm down to 2 weeks unitl I leave for Utah.  I'm so excited, I can barely stand it!
It's been almost 6 months since I saw the Nauvoo Pageant and decided that the next season I would be a part of it.  I still don't know exactly how I'll make this happen.  But, I know when we want something badly enough and we let The Lord in on it, He usually makes a path for us to travel.  It's not always EASY, but, He really does want us to be successful and happy!