It's snowing softly, quietly today. Yet, the fires of anger and frustration are burning deep in my spirit. I've not slept well these last weeks. I thought it was because my kids were sick and I was keeping a vigilant ear to their needs. And perhaps it is. But, I think it's my deep conscious mind telling me I have rested too long on an issue that needs voice. Not the kind of voice that screams with fervor and zeal at injustice and then blanches into boredom and normalcy. NO, SIR! This is an issue that speaks to the core of who I am.
Recently, it was announced that funding would be cut at Bemidji State University in the Arts Department. ALL the arts. I have friends who are professors there. Professor of what? Truth. Knowledge. Enlightenment. Encouragment. Art! Men and women who have taught me and with whom I have shared a stage. I can no longer afford to do nothing but lose sleep.
Jeremiah Liend, free-lance artisan, brilliant mind, keeper of the flame has been striving diligently to keep the art program from being cut.
On his recent FB status he stated, '
Dear Jeremiah,
I know that you're still slumbering--probably not peacefully, as I guess that you seldom have serenity--but sleeping still. I've just awoken myself. In more ways than one.
I've read the list of comments and have thus far remained quietly defiant to the goings-on surrounding the choices at BSU. I have chosen to reserve my energies for things that I have deemed of higher priority, like children and church work. The fact that I live 25 miles away is yet another factor. I don't fell like I should say much as one who has lived here for just 3 years. An outsider. I'm from the South and good little Southern girls sit quietly and fan themselves whilst the gentlemen plan the war.
But, at the mere mention of this topic, my heart bursts in obstinate desire. It breaks and recoils and my mind rages with ideas and methods of tearing down the establishment, the regime, the administration. I've never liked fans and I DON'T sit quietly very well.
I'm sure that your friend, Phillip Nelson meant well in his comments and I mean no disrespect. But, Phillip darling, your green, obtuse ideas are unenlightened and apatheitic. The kind of thinking that keeps women sitting quietly and men's liberties cast as chaff on the wind. So, perhaps, Mr. Nelson, we will not succeed per your definition, but, thank heavens I don't live by your definition. And thank heavens so many others don't either.
I have been re-awakened. The fire refueled. The desire to right wrongs can not be held any longer within my spirit. Maybe it was a desire to prove people like Phillip Nelson incorrect or maybe it's a desire to show my children that the world is NOT what other people hand you, but rather what you create. They are blind--not visionless. It doesn't matter the reasoning. It's time now for action. I feel it my responsibility to now step out of my shadow in the corner and fight shoulder to shoulder in this cause.
After your sleep, expect a call.
Sincerely, Bridget
PS--Mr. Nelson, if you've managed to make it through my whole letter, I extend to you an invitation to join the fray. We may not win. We may die trying. But, we will die regardless. And the wrongs will be there anyway. What could be the worst to happen? We win. Come, engage.
The invitaion is to all. Enagage. I may not be a part of the hell that will follow Jeremiah into the man's office, but I sure will bring my own hell with me.
Maybe now, I will nap.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Patiently waiting.......
Here it is...about a month and a half since I left SLC. I still have no word from Church Headquarters concerning Nauvoo.
The suspense is sometimes incredibly overwhelming. Other times, I forget that I'm waiting for a call.
I go back and forth between extreme smiling and a twinge of sadness. I would love to go to Nauvoo so much. But, if it isn't my year, I want to be ok with that, too. I want to be happy for the others who do get to go.
It's still winter here. It feels like winter never ends in Northern Minnesota. The first year I lived here, I thought I would just always be in winter. It was a terribly cold year. Not so bad this year. But, much more snow than usual.
My children are all sick with various forms of the flu. They're sweet spirited and are trying to be nice.
I appreciate that.
Just a quick update on the status of things. I'll update later. Hopefully with some kind of news.
The suspense is sometimes incredibly overwhelming. Other times, I forget that I'm waiting for a call.
I go back and forth between extreme smiling and a twinge of sadness. I would love to go to Nauvoo so much. But, if it isn't my year, I want to be ok with that, too. I want to be happy for the others who do get to go.
It's still winter here. It feels like winter never ends in Northern Minnesota. The first year I lived here, I thought I would just always be in winter. It was a terribly cold year. Not so bad this year. But, much more snow than usual.
My children are all sick with various forms of the flu. They're sweet spirited and are trying to be nice.
I appreciate that.
Just a quick update on the status of things. I'll update later. Hopefully with some kind of news.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
"If it had not been so..."
I'm a firm beleiver in Unity. Finding a oneness seems vital and important in a world full of confusion and chaos. Sometimes I can find it with one other person and sometimes I find myself trying to discover Unity with a whole bunch of people. Much harder. But, either way, it must important. My mind is called to Psalms 133 when David tell us it's 'pleasant' and 'good' to live in unity with our brethren. Family. Neighbors. Friends.
The 'unity' that seems to trip me up the very most is within myself. I think my desire to be with people precludes my ability to be with The Savior. It's Him that I need more than anyone. Unity with my Savior. My Master.
Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with my brother. He and I have never really been close. He lived in foster homes before I was born and I didn't meant him until I was Senior in High School. And when I did meet him, I wasn't impressed. And now all these 20 or so years later, after spending the afternoon with him, I bothered myself to look deeper at the spirit and less at the human. And.........I liked him. We talked about love, and lonliness, faith, but not religion. I'm devoutly Mormon...He's devoutly NOT. We even talked about the forbidden of all topics...politics. We formed, for just a tiny little time, unity. Onesness. Togetherness. He's still flawed and has faults but I try not to cast too many stones that direction. I don't want them picked up and thrown back at me.
I'm telling you this for a reason. Shawn was a kairn. In an effort to keep you here not running off to google, I'll tell you what a kairn, (carn) is. It's a marker. A stone or rather a stack of stones places in a specific formation to indicate the direction that would be best for traveler to take. Sometimes they indicated that a body of water would be an ideal place for catching fish. Sometimes they pointed to good hunting. Sometimes a stack told that this would be a good and safe place to rest. Sometimes they just point and say...'this way.' For thousands of years and in multiple cultures, kairns have been there, placed by the poor fellow who had to go that route alone...without them. The Savior.
He's walked our road. AND He did it without His help. When I think of His Mercy and Mission my heart leaps inside of me. Why? Why does He deign to help such a wretch like me? Because, He loves me. And because He loves me, He wants me to be around and talk to Him. He wants unity wth me. How can the master ever learn to use the instrument if the instrument is not there. I remove myself from Him. From His prescence. I take the instrument away so He is unable to use me the way He knows best. He places those people in my path to bring my thoughts and heart back to Him.
I LOVE the story of the Stone of Ebenezer.
It's Hebrew...It's actually 2 words. One word means stone, one word means help. Stone of help. Stone of Help!! Samuel raised the Ebenezer Stone and proclaimed 'Thus far the Lord has helped us!' Brilliant! He told the people that The Lord had helped them to this point and would never forsake them. And the stone would be for all others to see and know....this is the line in the sand. We're not going back to the way it was! You know what happened after that? Peace! Sernity! Unity! And because there was unity, the Isrealites were able to recover their land from the Philistines and they even managed to eke out some peace with the Amorites!
Yay for unity!
There's a story in the Doctrine and Covenants, which is a book of revelations recieved during this modern dispensation. It's our book of Laws and Promises. Joseph Smith had a scribe named Oliver Cowdery who was writing while Joseph tranlsted the Book of Mormon plates which were in Hebrew.
One morning in 1829, the Lord spoke specifically to Oliver through Joseph and gave him some beautiful information. In verse 14 of Section 6, The Lord told him:
Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time.
He will bring us where we need to be. He's walked the road. Done it for us, alone, so we wouldn't have to. I figure the least I can do is pay attention to the kairns He puts along my path that say, 'this way.'
Unity in me with Him. It'll come. I already raised MY Ebenezer Stone. I can never go back to the way it was. I woudn't want to. I'm smiling.
The 'unity' that seems to trip me up the very most is within myself. I think my desire to be with people precludes my ability to be with The Savior. It's Him that I need more than anyone. Unity with my Savior. My Master.
Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with my brother. He and I have never really been close. He lived in foster homes before I was born and I didn't meant him until I was Senior in High School. And when I did meet him, I wasn't impressed. And now all these 20 or so years later, after spending the afternoon with him, I bothered myself to look deeper at the spirit and less at the human. And.........I liked him. We talked about love, and lonliness, faith, but not religion. I'm devoutly Mormon...He's devoutly NOT. We even talked about the forbidden of all topics...politics. We formed, for just a tiny little time, unity. Onesness. Togetherness. He's still flawed and has faults but I try not to cast too many stones that direction. I don't want them picked up and thrown back at me.
I'm telling you this for a reason. Shawn was a kairn. In an effort to keep you here not running off to google, I'll tell you what a kairn, (carn) is. It's a marker. A stone or rather a stack of stones places in a specific formation to indicate the direction that would be best for traveler to take. Sometimes they indicated that a body of water would be an ideal place for catching fish. Sometimes they pointed to good hunting. Sometimes a stack told that this would be a good and safe place to rest. Sometimes they just point and say...'this way.' For thousands of years and in multiple cultures, kairns have been there, placed by the poor fellow who had to go that route alone...without them. The Savior.
He's walked our road. AND He did it without His help. When I think of His Mercy and Mission my heart leaps inside of me. Why? Why does He deign to help such a wretch like me? Because, He loves me. And because He loves me, He wants me to be around and talk to Him. He wants unity wth me. How can the master ever learn to use the instrument if the instrument is not there. I remove myself from Him. From His prescence. I take the instrument away so He is unable to use me the way He knows best. He places those people in my path to bring my thoughts and heart back to Him.
I LOVE the story of the Stone of Ebenezer.
It's Hebrew...It's actually 2 words. One word means stone, one word means help. Stone of help. Stone of Help!! Samuel raised the Ebenezer Stone and proclaimed 'Thus far the Lord has helped us!' Brilliant! He told the people that The Lord had helped them to this point and would never forsake them. And the stone would be for all others to see and know....this is the line in the sand. We're not going back to the way it was! You know what happened after that? Peace! Sernity! Unity! And because there was unity, the Isrealites were able to recover their land from the Philistines and they even managed to eke out some peace with the Amorites!Yay for unity!
There's a story in the Doctrine and Covenants, which is a book of revelations recieved during this modern dispensation. It's our book of Laws and Promises. Joseph Smith had a scribe named Oliver Cowdery who was writing while Joseph tranlsted the Book of Mormon plates which were in Hebrew.
One morning in 1829, the Lord spoke specifically to Oliver through Joseph and gave him some beautiful information. In verse 14 of Section 6, The Lord told him:
Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time.
Unity in me with Him. It'll come. I already raised MY Ebenezer Stone. I can never go back to the way it was. I woudn't want to. I'm smiling.
 |
| My big brother Shawn, and I. It looks like I'm trying to push him away. I'm not. I'm touching him, because I love him. 1-19-11 |
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Touchdown in SLC
I left home this morning at about 6:30 or so. Little plane. Puddle Jumper. But it jumped well enough to get me to The Cities Airport in less than a hour...normally a 5 hour trip by car. Eerily enough...or perhaps not...I sat next to the man who first cast me and my kids in a play in the Bemidji area! I owe almost all my theatre time in Bemidji to Greg Gasman. It was sort of a neat little happenstance. He's on his way to Texas.
My trip really has been very uneventful! Which is super! I'll take it. No delays, no missed flights, no close calls. Wonderful!
I realized while sitting on the tarmac in Minneapolis that I didn't know what car company my rental was through! So, I paid for internet on the plane and can you beleive I played on the internet while I was in the sky?! Is that some crazy StarTrek stuff or what?! Anyhoo--my rental was through Alamo and when I got to the SLC airport, there was about a billion people. I found out this is the weekend of Sundance Film Festival and some other huge trade show for electronics. All of the rental booths were packed, except Alamo. I don't exactly know what that means for anyone else, but for ME it meant an upgrade! My sweetheart husband had rented me a little compact car and I was excited to zip around in a little car instead of a mommy van.
The gent behind the counter asked if I was there for the Film Festival and I said, 'nope..I'm auditioning for the Nauvoo Pageant.' He was so excited for me he said, 'well, we can't have a star driving around in a little car, I'm upgrading you to the Equinox!'
It's even this color!
How funny is that? From one mommy car to another!! Hahaha!! But, it's still zippy! And clean on the inside! He made me promise to find him on Monday and tell him how I did. I told him I promised to TRY to find him....and sign an autograph! Nice guy...Fred. He gets extra stars in his crown today!
His probably isn't this color.
My trip really has been very uneventful! Which is super! I'll take it. No delays, no missed flights, no close calls. Wonderful!
I realized while sitting on the tarmac in Minneapolis that I didn't know what car company my rental was through! So, I paid for internet on the plane and can you beleive I played on the internet while I was in the sky?! Is that some crazy StarTrek stuff or what?! Anyhoo--my rental was through Alamo and when I got to the SLC airport, there was about a billion people. I found out this is the weekend of Sundance Film Festival and some other huge trade show for electronics. All of the rental booths were packed, except Alamo. I don't exactly know what that means for anyone else, but for ME it meant an upgrade! My sweetheart husband had rented me a little compact car and I was excited to zip around in a little car instead of a mommy van.
The gent behind the counter asked if I was there for the Film Festival and I said, 'nope..I'm auditioning for the Nauvoo Pageant.' He was so excited for me he said, 'well, we can't have a star driving around in a little car, I'm upgrading you to the Equinox!'
How funny is that? From one mommy car to another!! Hahaha!! But, it's still zippy! And clean on the inside! He made me promise to find him on Monday and tell him how I did. I told him I promised to TRY to find him....and sign an autograph! Nice guy...Fred. He gets extra stars in his crown today!
His probably isn't this color.Anyhoo, that's my news for today. I'll update again soon. Getting closer. About 50 hours until my audition.
Serenity and love from 47 degrees...above!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Auditioning...the Process.
I have quite a few friends who are interested in my audition in SLC next week. Most, however, are unfamiliar with the process. So, I thought for this weeks' blog, I would backtrack and explain how I got where I am and where I'm headed next week.
Step one in any audition process is hearing about it to begin with.
Last year when we went to Nauvoo, IL, for the week with the youth from our church we got to watch the Pageant. I sat with my mouth open for almost an hour and a half--in awe of the magnitude of the production. I've never been a part of anything so monstrously grand! The light poles rose about 3 and a half stories and the people on them had to wear safety harnesses to climb them. The 'light booth', where the lighting cues are commanded and executed, was an open-air tent about 20x20. The scene changes were executed by the actors themselves during the scene--which is perfect since it's a story about the building of a city...City Beautiful, that's what Nauvoo means in Hebrew. When I got home, I KNEW I was going to be a part of this. I started researching online and found the number to call.
Step two is booking the audition.
I called SLC and asked about the dates. There were several dates, as they expect many people to try out. There are 20 core cast parts and only 8 for women. The odds are certainly stacked against me. But, I don't worry about odds. I've never been good with numbers. My audition is on January 20, at 7:PM at the Bountiful Events Center in North Salt Lake. I am beyond exited for the experience.
Step three is preparation.
I had to find out what was required of me. Usually in a musical, it's expected that one would have 16 bars, or measures, of 2 contrasting pieces of music prepared to sing. This one, however, weirdly enough, doesn't require that. Singing is secondary in this musical! GO figure. I guess it's about the acting chops. I asked how long my monologue should be and was told I didn't need one! ALWAYS customary for an audition. ACTING is secondary, too! I WILL be asked to do a cold read from the script for the pageant. Looks like what they're looking for is experience in theatre (check) and an absolute desire to serve this mission with enthusiasm and gusto (check.)
Step four--THE Audition!
As I have been in theatre for more than 25 years, I've learned a thing or 2. Prepare a monologue--even if they tell you not to. You never know when a director will get excited about your cold read and ask you to do something else. It would be pretty unimpressive if I didn't have anything to do. So, I have prepared, just in case, a 2 minute monologue. Better safe than sorry. Might make the difference in getting it or not. I also have 2 pieces of music prepared. My first piece is 16 bars from "Lonely Goatherd" from 'The Sound of Music.' One of my personal faves. I like to yodel. And my second piece is 'Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.' A beautiful, spiritual and stirring song. Again, I'm quite excited.
Step five is sometimes the worst part--waiting for the Call back.
That's just what it sounds like. It's the waiting and waiting and waiting part before they tell you if you got it or not. I timed my audition so that callbacks fell the next 2 days after. I shouldn't have to wait more than 48 hours to hear something. That may sound like a lot, but--I've waited weeks before so 2 days is fine by me! I'll keep myself occupied by going to stores and museums and visiting friends.
After a callback, the process varies slightly. I'm not sure how it's going to work with this one.
I'm just thrilled for the chance to do this and love the process. I'll leave it in God's hands and take whatever comes and love it.
Step one in any audition process is hearing about it to begin with.
Last year when we went to Nauvoo, IL, for the week with the youth from our church we got to watch the Pageant. I sat with my mouth open for almost an hour and a half--in awe of the magnitude of the production. I've never been a part of anything so monstrously grand! The light poles rose about 3 and a half stories and the people on them had to wear safety harnesses to climb them. The 'light booth', where the lighting cues are commanded and executed, was an open-air tent about 20x20. The scene changes were executed by the actors themselves during the scene--which is perfect since it's a story about the building of a city...City Beautiful, that's what Nauvoo means in Hebrew. When I got home, I KNEW I was going to be a part of this. I started researching online and found the number to call.
Step two is booking the audition.
I called SLC and asked about the dates. There were several dates, as they expect many people to try out. There are 20 core cast parts and only 8 for women. The odds are certainly stacked against me. But, I don't worry about odds. I've never been good with numbers. My audition is on January 20, at 7:PM at the Bountiful Events Center in North Salt Lake. I am beyond exited for the experience.
Step three is preparation.
I had to find out what was required of me. Usually in a musical, it's expected that one would have 16 bars, or measures, of 2 contrasting pieces of music prepared to sing. This one, however, weirdly enough, doesn't require that. Singing is secondary in this musical! GO figure. I guess it's about the acting chops. I asked how long my monologue should be and was told I didn't need one! ALWAYS customary for an audition. ACTING is secondary, too! I WILL be asked to do a cold read from the script for the pageant. Looks like what they're looking for is experience in theatre (check) and an absolute desire to serve this mission with enthusiasm and gusto (check.)
Step four--THE Audition!
As I have been in theatre for more than 25 years, I've learned a thing or 2. Prepare a monologue--even if they tell you not to. You never know when a director will get excited about your cold read and ask you to do something else. It would be pretty unimpressive if I didn't have anything to do. So, I have prepared, just in case, a 2 minute monologue. Better safe than sorry. Might make the difference in getting it or not. I also have 2 pieces of music prepared. My first piece is 16 bars from "Lonely Goatherd" from 'The Sound of Music.' One of my personal faves. I like to yodel. And my second piece is 'Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.' A beautiful, spiritual and stirring song. Again, I'm quite excited.
Step five is sometimes the worst part--waiting for the Call back.
That's just what it sounds like. It's the waiting and waiting and waiting part before they tell you if you got it or not. I timed my audition so that callbacks fell the next 2 days after. I shouldn't have to wait more than 48 hours to hear something. That may sound like a lot, but--I've waited weeks before so 2 days is fine by me! I'll keep myself occupied by going to stores and museums and visiting friends.
After a callback, the process varies slightly. I'm not sure how it's going to work with this one.
I'm just thrilled for the chance to do this and love the process. I'll leave it in God's hands and take whatever comes and love it.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Preparing for...
'Through drama, music, and dance, the pageant testifies of the prophetic mission of Joseph Smith, the blessings of temple ordinances, and the faith of the Saints who built the original city and temple of Nauvoo. Most importantly, the pageant bears witness of the Savior Jesus Christ and His restored gospel.' --Pageant Participant's Handbook
Today, I'm finishing up a few odds and ends for camp. I almost have the schedule complete and the packing list is waiting to be revised. I'll be reserving the campsite on the day of my audition. Eerily coincidental. Or not. I want to have camp so well planned and prepared that if something happens to me, the next person will have very little trouble picking it up and running with it.
I discovered the handbook for pageant participants and I find myself able to envision actually being there. I can see myself at the fair each evening, playing with kids, and quilting. Visiting. Loving others. I so very much want to give to others what the Lord has given me. If you can see it, and believe it...you can achieve it. I will be Nauvoo this summer.
http://www.nauvoopageant.org/ Go and see what I'll be doing
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The final countdown!
I'm down to 2 weeks unitl I leave for Utah. I'm so excited, I can barely stand it!
It's been almost 6 months since I saw the Nauvoo Pageant and decided that the next season I would be a part of it. I still don't know exactly how I'll make this happen. But, I know when we want something badly enough and we let The Lord in on it, He usually makes a path for us to travel. It's not always EASY, but, He really does want us to be successful and happy!
It's been almost 6 months since I saw the Nauvoo Pageant and decided that the next season I would be a part of it. I still don't know exactly how I'll make this happen. But, I know when we want something badly enough and we let The Lord in on it, He usually makes a path for us to travel. It's not always EASY, but, He really does want us to be successful and happy!
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